Thankful through tears

Hi Girl!

Miss you so much, today. It was one of those, if I were a different person, I’d be cussing and throwing things, kind of days. A day where I had to remind myself that there are things to be thankful for always.

Things like fancy new Bose bluetooth ear buds, that are pretty close to noise cancelling. This was so helpful today as my irritation level rose, bit by bit, fed by my sensitivity to sound. The store was SOOOO loud today. Also meditation music, not that there was any meditation going on, but the bird sounds and the water sounds helped.

Things like the time to escape to the hotel to lay down for an hour. There was a point in the hour, about 45 minutes in, where it felt like a switch turned on and my being just relaxed a little.

Things like small back rollers that I can travel with, to release the physical tension that just happens and golf balls to roll out my foot as I continue to try to figure out what works the best, what shoes, what food, what activity, what massage, what…

Things like a sweet friend who wants children but isn’t finding it so easy to fulfill that wish. But as she seeks medical counsel and medication and repeated blood work and ultrasounds and appointments and is maybe looking at in vitro, who can say, with certainty, that she still has her joy. And I know she does. I can feel it in her words as we text back and forth.

Things like a short drive back to the hotel, a straight shot, so when tears are flowing, because I am tired and weary (totally not the same thing!) I can just let the tears flow because I can drive the straight line easily, as I have all week.

As I search this year, for my own joy, for a place of contentment and peace, for thankfulness that rises easily without the work of looking for it, I know there will always be tears, and irritation and fatigue, but there will also be oasis of peace, fountains of joy and fields of hope. I just need to look up, look out and remember that perfection isn’t required for there to be recognizable gratitude.

ILYEM, Sweet Angel. Sending butterfly kisses your way and hoping to see you in the sunrise in the morning,

Even though some days are harder, I am thankful for today!!

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